Once upon a time there was a young farmer who had just bought some new chickens. This farmer liked to speak to his chicken and pretend that they were answering back. The thing he didn’t know was that they were in the form of putting their responses in his mind because they did not possess the same vocal cords as humans so they had to implant ideas into people’s minds. One day when the farmer was feeding the chickens one of them, named Bobby The Brave, had a very interesting idea. Bobby had always wondered what power felt like and he hated being bossed around by farmers and dogs and everything else around him. Bobby was especially good at planting suggestive thoughts in people’s minds and he liked to use this power to get others to do what he wanted but it didn’t usually work for more complex minds like humans. Bobby decided to try anyway so one night when everyone else was sleeping Bobby snuck out of the chicken coop with a bag of ninja supplies around his neck. He snuck into the house through the doggy door and jumped up onto the counter where he could see the farmers dog sleeping very lightly but still alert. Bobby was moving slowly with the shadows across the counter when his impulsive clucking disorder flared up and he couldn’t stifle it in time. The farmer’s dog was waking up and there was nowhere for Bobby to hide.The dog seemed to know that if he barked then the farmer would wake up and they would both be in trouble so he kept the growling to a minimum. The dog leapt at Bobby and nearly bit his wing off. Bobby tried using his martial-arts moves against the dog but it didn’t even faze him. Bobby had one choice left and that was to give the dog the most confusing thought that he had ever thought which was confusing because he wasn’t the one supposed to be getting confused and as he thought this the confusing thought about thoughts came back into his head and he fainted.
When Bobby woke up he was in some sort of interrogation room. Sitting on the other side of the table was the farmer’s dog. Dogs like most other animals could also implant ideas into other’s minds as this one did now. Do you want to tell me what you were doing in the farmer’s house at night? The dog asked. No. Bobby said. Then I hope you understand that this is not a government agency and we will do whatever we need to in order for you to tell us what we want to know. The dog was snarling now. No. Bobby said. Well then it’s time to commence with the plucking.
When Bobby woke up he was in the same room with the same dog and the same table the only thing different was that all of his feathers were gone. Now are you ready to tell us what you were doing? Said the dog. No. Bobby said. Then suddenly there was a loud crash and a section of the wall fell down. A dozen chickens wearing dog proof suits came in through the hole. Put your paws on the floor in front of you. Said one of the chickens in suits. The dogs were quickly detained and Bobby was brought back to chicken headquarters.
Why were you in an off the grid dog facility? Said the chicken pacing in front of him. I was caught trying to destroy the world and take over what was left. Said Bobby. What? What do you mean? Said the other chicken. I mean what I just said. Bobby replied. You are going to be detained if you continue to tell lies like this. Said the other chicken. I’m not lying. Said Bobby
Bobby was then thrown into the most secure prison for chickens in the world. Then two days later he escaped from the jail using his super cool ninja techniques. He then continued on with his plan.
Bobby was preparing for the next stage in his plan while in an alley when he was suddenly jumped by two chickens. He hit one of them in the face with his wing and started running as fast as he could. When he turned the corner there were two more chickens waiting for him. He ducked right and flew onto a nearby ledge. The other chickens were nearly as fast as he was, nearly but not as. Bobby took a smoke bomb out of his bag of ninja tools and threw it at his pursuers then he ran into an open doorway. When he got inside he hid inside of a pot to catch his breath but when he turned around there was another chicken and this one looked dangerous. Bobby pulled out his ninja sword just in time to block a stroke from the dangerous looking chicken. Bobby did a double backflip out of the pot and ran up the stairs. When he got to the roof he stopped to check if he was still being chased. Then all of the sudden the dangerous looking chicken came out of nowhere. Bobby rolled away as the other chicken swug their sword at his head. He got up and kicked the sword out of the other chicken’s claws and it clattered to the floor. Then he pulled out his own sword and told the other chicken to get on the ground. The other chicken jumped up and spun horizontally and twisted the sword out of Bobby’s claws and landed in his own. He came at Bobby again and Bobby dodged right and then got behind the other chicken and activated a paralyzing pressure point. Then the roof was full of chickens. Bobby kicked, slashed, and punched at everything in sight but he was fighting a losing battle, there were just too many of them and even an excellent ninja like him couldn’t beat them alone. Unless he used his super move. He did use his super move. And then there was no one except him and the dangerous chicken. Then the chicken did the impossible, he got up and attacked Bobby, which he shouldn’t be able to do because he had been paralyzed. Bobby tackled him and the fell to the ground. Then there was a sudden strong gust of wind that blew both chickens to the edge of the roof. Now it was a matter of who could throw the other off of the roof first.The other chicken won. As Bobby was falling he flapped his wings rapidly willing himself to fly. He hit the ground with a dull thud.
Bobby’s funeral was very lonely. The only chickens that came were his mom and someone else that he wouldn’t recognize but would definitely remember. Except Bobby remembered them as a jerk because he had only ever fought them and never gotten to know them. They were one dangerous chicken.
We need back up. Said dangerous chicken. The chickens were fighting a squad of dogs who had come for Bobby and they were getting beaten badly. I am the only chicken left I need back up. Said the dangerous chicken. And then there was a growling noise and the radio went silent. It looks like the dogs had attacked the headquarters too and now he was alone. He finished the fight quickly with his ninja moves and set off to find help when he saw a familiar looking chicken but that chicken was supposed to be dead, he had killed him himself.
Bobby had been dead for a week and so if anyone saw him then he was sure to be exposed which meant that he had to go to the only chicken that would know he was still alive, Dangerous chicken. Hello dangerous. Said Bobby. What? You’re supposed to be dead I mean I killed you myself I saw you hit the ground. Said Dangerous. What a loser. Said Bobby. Also I need you to help take over the world with me because it might come in handy to have a loser with me to make me look more than the most awesomest awesome NINJA CHICKEN.